My Only Horror Film
For the background to the characters in ths story you can read Ken’s Brithday Gift and Bondage Barbie Deluxe …Some time had gone by since my last experience in Don’s toy room, and my duplicate dolls display in the Barbie Bondage Deluxe box Ken had made. Don’s idea of passing her for me had worked out like he had planned, and to the best of my knowledge he kept her in that box on display. There was however one excited phone call from me to Don just before he showed off his new doll to “the two pain in the asses”, all I said was “doll eyes”. Don had noticed that if he displayed his new doll upright as I was, her weighted doll eyes would be open under the lone ranger mask, unlike mine had been. Don, mister attention to detail, had realized this before me and made the proper adjustments, and that made my excited call unnecessary… …Ken had found a very beautiful girl he was interested in and all of us remained friends, but Ken and I weren’t sleeping together anymore either. I knew this day would likely come, but it wasn’t a welcome change for me, especially with loosing Don’s special entertainment at the same time. I hate to say it was a low point in my life, because I still had hubby and I now had some challenging duties at work with “Uncle Don” watching out for me as well. The best one of those was Don’s director friend, Levi, and his purchase of an entire castle in Europe. He bought the small castle’s ruins, really a collection of large cut stones, and intended to have our company move them here and reassemble them, duplicating their previous glory. Our company handled “heavy hauling”, and this complex project would help us make a name for ourselves overseas. Several things went wrong with the project before I got involved with it, and all Levi’s money spent to that point looked lost. This was the reason Don had been at the office so much before my “dollification” early last year. There was a cultural shock at prospect of moving the castle to another country, and for ethical and public relations reasons, we couldn’t do it. I spoke with Levi several times on this subject and we had become closer friends. It was easy to do as Levi was a great guy, but I felt terrible that he wouldn’t be able to achieve his goal of a real castle, a desire he had held since his first erotic horror movie. I tried to make light of the situation and suggested that since he had spent so much money identifying each cut stone, and their location in the structure, we could have the stones cut here and use the building plans he already owns. After a lengthy pause on the other end of the phone, he shocked me and said he would be fine with that! One call to Don, and Levi looked like he would get his castle, but made with domestic stones. We wouldn’t make very much money, or get the public exposure with the project Don wanted, but it was a creative solution to our problem that I likely wouldn’t have thought of without my “special training” class. I had to laugh at the thought of that! Levi had finally contacted Ken about building a rack for him, and the details were a well kept secret. I assumed he would want one like in one of his early movies, but Ken wouldn’t tell me anything… Levi and I had developed an email relationship as well, and he shocked me by asking me, on line, if he could use my ideas about the erotic horror movie we had talked about at his house over a year ago. I told him I would love to see that movie, and then never heard another word about it… …More time passed, and I had been to the site of Levi’s castle two times to see the progress the stone masons had made. It was easy to see where Levi intended to put his dungeon equipment, and he told me he intended to make the movie we had talked about in his new castle. His new place was remote enough, he had bought a whole wooded mountainside, and had parking for his and his visitors cars well away from the castle. The effect would be like being transported back in time, and Levi was unsure if he was even going to keep his old house. I was very happy to have been a small part of helping him achieve his dream, and he said he wanted to make a free commercial for Don, to be aired in the country we got the castle idea from. This way, Levi said, Don could maybe recover some of the publicity he lost with this project. I thought that was a wonderful idea, but wondered why Levi was telling me about it. Then he dropped the bomb on me and said he wanted me to star in the commercial! He explained his reasoning to me and it made sense, and I reluctantly agreed, IF Don would let me. Levi said he would give his old friend no choice in the matter! Levi said he wished it was that easy to cast OUR movie! He told me he liked the idea of an “over the top” movie, but it would be so over the top that it couldn’t get any kind of rating to be shown publicly without cutting it up too badly. He said he intended to distribute it personally, for private use, for the cost of the production plus a fair profit. He said he would likely charge between five and twenty thousand dollars per copy, and had a long list of customers already waiting for the old movie he said was found in an unedited form. He told me he had a list of men who would take the parts for a simple percentage of the gross, and in reality would do it for free after reading the script. The lead woman’s part was the problem, he told me. He said once they read the men’s script, the lead woman didn’t have many lines, as I knew, they ran away. I asked Levi if I could read the script he had in mind, and he reluctantly said I could, only if I kept it to myself. I agreed and took a copy he had with him to my hotel for a read through. Back at my hotel I felt like a complete slut, I was half way through the script and I had my fingers inside my panties furiously rubbing myself to still another orgasm. Somehow Levi, or more likely his writers, had turned my most erotic daydream into a script! It felt dirtier to read it, than to just think it, but it was obviously inspired by my after dinner conversation with Levi. I had to stop reading and call Levi, but I didn’t know what to say to him. I decided to order room service first, and started reading where I left off… My meal came before I did again, and the young man who brought up my steak dinner didn’t know how lucky he was to escape with his virtue intact. I didn’t like the ending of the script, and that was my excuse to call Levi. When I called he said he was waiting to heaqr from me, and asked me if I still thought of him as a friend. I laughed and said I was going to ask him the same thing, and the answer was yes. I told him I must have drank more than I realized that night, and I hated to admit it, but that he got most of it right. He told me to write in any changes I wanted on the margins of the pages, that’s why they’re left so big, he explained. I made the changes I wanted and scribbled notes in the margins as instructed, and I wrote two possible endings. Much of this movie would depend on the actress, the script I envisioned would be flexible, actually I envisioned no script at all. Levi was the director and knew there needed to be one, I was just a horny woman with a dark imagination, and I wanted to star in this movie! The thought just popped into my head on it’s own. I gave Levi back the script with the notes I made, and I asked him if I could have the part. Before he even thought about it he said no. I pretended I didn’t hear him and explained why I would be perfect for the part, how I didn’t want to play the part, but wanted to be filmed living the part. My fantasy, I told him, was even in black and white like the old rainy day horror classics I enjoyed. He thought about that for a moment and smiled, and then said he gets it, but the answer was still no. I caught myself whining like a little kid," WHYYYY NNNNOT?" “Because”, he said, “I would likely loose my taste for such a rough experience ten seconds into it, and we will have tons of set up costs to spread out in a very short movie that nobody will want. He also told me he didn’t want to see me hurt, that this wasn’t “play time.”” “It is to me”, I shot back. I told him I have done things like this before, and wanted to do it. I told him no actress would last past the second scene, and that even if he made the changes I suggested, I could do the movie to the ending credits. I gave Levi a big hug, I knew I had crossed a line with him, friend or not. I told him I knew he only wanted what is best for me, but that if I did this movie, and it scared the hell out of me, I would not look back and regret it. If I didn’t do this movie, I knew I would always wonder “what if”. I told him I expected this would be a once and done kind of thing, that once I lived this fantasy of mine I would probably go back to my somewhat normal life without regrets. I asked Levi if he would consider giving me the part, with the changes I made, IF he couldn’t find someone else. He paused a moment told me it was against his better judgment, but that he would sign me to the part conditionally, and handed me a contract out of his briefcase. When I looked at it, it was a sheet of paper where I could highlight what I wouldn’t do in the film, with a huge list of unimaginable things to choose from, and a place to sign it on the bottom. I signed it and gave it back without any limits at all. If the terms of the contract were designed to shock me out of wanting to do the movie, it had the complete opposite effect on me… If I got the part, he told me, I would get a percentage of the gross like the other actors. Some time went by and Levi’s castle was finally complete, and he asked me to block out two weeks at the end of the next month for shooting the commercial, all with Don’s approval. Levi said he would take care of my accommodations on the shoot, and all I needed to do was show up at the airport and have Tony, Levi’s driver, pick me up. Levi told me he couldn’t find another actress to do the movie, and even some porn stars turned down the rough role! Levi said it in a way that would let me back out of my earlier commitment to star in the film, if I wanted. I told him I was looking forward to the movie, and he said in that case that we would shoot the movie right after the commercial was done. None of my coworkers, or even hubby would know how long it takes to shoot a commercial, and would assume my two week absence was work related. Don was another issue, but Levi said he had that handled. From that phone call until the plane landed, I had no sex of any kind, with or without hubby. I was almost climbing the walls of the plane on the return trip with the realization of what I set myself up for, and with my earlier boasting to Levi, I couldn’t chicken out now. There was a whole group of people who were depending on me not to! Tony picked me up at the airport and commented on my tan, Levi suggested I tan up at a salon because there would be no make up breaks for the movie, at least for me, and I asked Tony if he liked it. He said it did… We shot the commercial in front of Levi’s castle, and inside it as well, and the whole thing was done by mid morning. The commercial was shot with a separate film crew, and to the best of my knowledge, the select movie crew didn’t know who I was. Levi had told me his use of black and white film would make the movie look old, and all the actors, including me would be hard to identify and sworn to secercy. His story line for the movie was that he had found this old movie someplace, and that made it interesting for high end movie enthusiast who wanted to own some vintage kink. And, he explained, it would be assumed that any of the actors would be long gone, or at least very old as his story said the movie was eighty years old. Over lunch Levi asked one last time if I wanted to go through with this movie, and if I could hold out for as long as possible if I did. I told him yes to both, and he reminded me everybody on set would ignore any pleading or screaming I did, and my treatment would continue either until the other actors needed to rest, or I confessed. He also reminded me it was likely I would get marked up some, but that they wouldn’t do any permanent physical harm to me, unless something went wrong. Levi had a last question for me, sex? I told him if anything got out of hand for me, I would confess. How could I tell my friend that I hoped they fucked the crap out of me. In my fantasy though, it was all about the helplessness and not necessarily the sex, but I would be just as unable to stop someone who wanted to use me in that way as well! The confession was my “safe word”, until I used it, I would be at the mercy of my torturers. I had a silent, personal bet with myself, if I needed to use the “safe word” confession, I wouldn’t try something like this again. I knew the script went from capture to mild to rough to extreme, just like a real medieval torture session would go. And I knew the outline of the script, however the details were subject to change, much like filming a theatre stage production. “The show must go on” was the phrase I remembered most from the few plays I was in. The goal in medieval times was a confession, without horribly injuring the accused, me, as to make the process look fair. In truth it was barbaric, and would start for me before dinner! I showered and got into my costume, a multi layered dress with the familiar cotton shift on under the layers. Medieval women apparently didn’t wear bras, and I skipped some of the layers of clothing I could have worn, as they would only get ruined anyway. When I came out Levi was waiting, and he gave me a ride to the back side of the property in his golf cart. We were on a cart path and he instructed me to follow the path and everything would start from there. He also told me he made some changes to the script, only so that I would be surprised when things happened. Remember, he told me, the only thing that stops the action is your confession. I got it I told him, and I gave him a kiss on the cheek and thanked him before I started walking down the path. I expected him to be working one of the cameras, but I clearly saw him drive away. I walked for a good ten minutes, long enough to think I was in the wrong spot when I spotted two men on horseback. They started chasing me, and I ran down the path right into the arms of another large man, who grabbed me and twisted my arms behind my back roughly. I started screaming and kicking, I wasn’t acting either. My arms were roped in front of me and a length of rope was tied off to one of the horses before I noticed one of the two cameras filming my capture. In less than ten minutes I forgot I was making a movie, and decided I would continue to disregard the cameras as best as I could. With the help of the other two men, a strip of material was torn off the bottom of my long dress and several knots were tied into the middle of it. The men had fashioned a cleave gag and they tied it in place to keep me from screaming, even though it wasn’t in my version of the script. Clearly the cast was able to improvise when necessary. It would make it hard to confess and use my safe word if they kept it in, but it did make me feel even more helpless and vulnerable. ...