Garbagetruck

The first Thursday of November had arrived. Here I was, another dreary start to the week at university. I hated it here, but having finally made the decision to aim for my dream job after years of holding back, I opted to attend here and begin my studies for veterinary medicine. It meant leaving my home town, leaving my friends behind, but it would be worth it, even if I hated the general atmosphere here, full of immature students engrossed in a culture of drinking, vomiting and trying to gain as many sexual partners as possible. ...

Reincarnation - The Life and Times of a Trash Bag You open your eyes following passing away. You see a mysterious ethereal creature reminiscent of a human standing before you. The being speaks to you in a low-pitched booming voice, “Human, you died just now, and this is the afterlife. Unlike what you believed, reincarnation is real. However, we are short on bodies to reincarnate you into, so this will be brief. Due to the lack of bodies on earth which are not currently occupied by souls, including animals, you will need to be reincarnated into a non-living item. At this time, we can only go by what’s available, so we bid you good luck on whatever item your soul inhabits. You will have a consciousness, albeit with limitations. Good luck and live a fruitful life.” ...

My fiance and I like to get into trash bags together. We have a friend that is into BDSM, so we asked him to be “the garbage man”. We got ten of the very large 75 gallon bags (yes, seventy-five gallon!) and made them into one VERY strong bag. Little did we know he was going to take it so far! It started out on Friday night a few months ago (still cold out). We got off work and went home, ate dinner and had “the garbage man” come by for a little help “gathering the trash”. He tied us up with shrink wrap, and put us into the giant bag together. Little did we know he had other plans for us! (He found out from another friend that we BOTH had the weekend plus Monday off.) After we were “settled in” he poked two small holes in our new home. He then gave us some plastic tubing to breath from. Then he called his friends over to help with some “heavy trash disposal”. This made me very hard very quick! When his friends got there, they were talking about how they were going to “dispose of us”… there were lots of great, sure fire ideas floating around, and as they talked about them we were both getting VERY *hot*. They decided not to incinerate the trash (phew!), but to just take us to where one of them worked: a yard waste recycling plant, where people put their grass clippings and other such by the curb, and it is wisked away by the same kind of truck that takes away *normal* trash. We were loaded into the back of a pickup truck and they drove off into the sunset. When we got where we were going, Marcus said to one of his cohorts, “Yo! Get this useless waste out of my truck, and put it over there by that giant wood chipper!” ...