Sequence Bastinado

“Hein!” Regular footsteps, mechanically measured. “Sir?” He stops in front of me. My new personal robot. Hein, or in fact He-In, for Helix Intelligence. Model 60-06, the very latest. He stands without any movement, machine that he is. And yet… Unlike your typical vacuum cleaner, he seems to be leaning forward a little, poised as if subtly signalling his unqualified willingness to execute his lord and master’s every wish. He looks human, the shape and size of an average man, but his face is kind of generic and his Teflon skin has a silver sheen. While he is very obviously cutting edge technology, subtle design cues – no heavy brows or square jaws – ensure he doesn’t make his owner feel threatened. ...

Lie Back And Think Of England

I hope I don’t have to kill him. He’s walking towards me, maybe 50m away now. The single light on the loading bay to my left is not helping much, but his body language is still wrong, he’s tensed up, walking fast and leading with his right shoulder. “Oi, dipshit. Calm the fuck down, ok?” I shout it loud enough for him to hear easily. He stops as if he’s run out of power, then he looks around as if confused. Daft cunt. ...