Take it from me, and how I learned it the hard way. Never time travel. Oh sure, it’s billed as the greatest thing you’ll ever experience, but believe me, it’s a bitch. Nothing quite like going back in time to an ancient civilization to see how things are run, only to suddenly fall into the hands of ancient barbarians who don’t take kindly to visitors from other times. You see, they always, without fail, think people from the future are demons, evil spirits, or all manner of foul things. Utter and complete nonsense of course, but they never listen, are never open to reason. What’s that? You want to hear an example of what can go wrong on one of these trips? Well, it’s not pretty, I assure you. There have been many people who go back in time, only to never return for one reason or another. Most of the time we never find out what happened to them, but occasionally some of their fates are documented. They’re never pretty. What? You still want to know what happens? Well, all right. Since you’re so inquisitive, I’ll tell you the story of Corey. Out of all our customers, his fate is pretty tame compared to some of our other clients. Certainly better then being swallowed whole by a T-Rex, I’ll tell you that. Anyway, it began way in the future. Actually, the present day for him. Here is he, Corey, a man looking for a bit of excitement and fun in his life, seeking that next big thrill to propel him out of the ordinary and into the extraordinary, into the small group of privileged guys who have done the impossible… they’ve traveled through time and come back to brag about it to their friends. Like any other hot-blooded male, he feels challenged by this and wants to show that he’s done it too. Don’t know why, but why is it that males always want to impress each other with these stupid stunts? Ah, never mind. And as it just so happens, Corey’s saved up just enough money to take a trip through time. Sight seeing of course, not to alter it. Corey’s not that stupid. So the day comes when he walks off sniggering at his buddies and heads into the time travel building and applies for a time travel visa. He’s given all these forms to sign, including the one that says if a traveler causes damage to the time space continuum, he’s on his own (with all his money non-refundable of course, and freeing the time travel company from any liability). Anyway, he’s all pissed off at all these damn forms, but slugs through them anyway, gives all the necessary permissions and pays the money. With that done, the guys in charge take him back into the briefing rooms, where he undergoes a day long class on proper time travel procedures and how to act and behave in the past. No interacting with the locals, no letting them know you’re even there, yatta yatta yatta. Real standard boring shit. But to Corey’s credit, he watches and learns, taking lots of notes and pouring over every word. When the day’s classes are done, he’s actually very knowledgeable about time travel procedure and how to do it. Never thought a hot blooded man like him would have it in him if you ask me. Come the next day, they get him ready. Corey’s issued a tight fitting body glove that covers him head to toe, covering every square inch of his body. Because I know you’re curious, these suits are made of a very tight, thick rubbery material that clings to the body. When first put on it’s easy to feel a bit sensual, but it can also be quite frightening if you’re claustrophobic. Yeah… that isn’t very fun. Anyway, not that it mattered to Corey anyway. He did fine, even seemed to enjoy the experience as the suit was put on. If you looked at his eyes through the eyepieces, he seemed to be very excited at what was going on, in more ways then one. His tour guide (all travelers get one) comes in, meets him, and then she’s suited up. But it doesn’t take long before his suit suddenly changed colors from default black to a near transparency of the surrounding room. You see, that’s the real treat about these suits… they’re designed to act as active camouflage, constantly bending and refracting light to make the wearer almost completely invisible. That’s why it has to cover your entire body, to make sure that all of you is kept out of sight. It was quite a thing for him to see how he was almost completely invisible. Even seemed to get a kick out of moving his limbs around and barely being able to see them. But his guide was impatient and eager to get going. For she wasn’t one who liked being sealed up in the suits for long periods of time… she was a bit claustrophobic (remember this, it’s important). When all was said and done, there was little left to do except take the time travel controllers. Each device, when activated, would allow Corey and his guide to travel back in time, but with a catch. After each use, the device had to be recharged for a minimum of half an hour before it could be used again. Not exactly safe, I know, but that’s as far as we’ve gotten with this kind of technology, especially since it takes a long time for the time space continuum to close up after each warp. With controllers in hand, the two mounted a small hover platform, which they would ride while in the past, so as not to leave footprints or any trace that they had ever been there. And like their suits, it was also made out of invisibility technology. Every conceivable precaution to ensure the two wouldn’t be seen, every precaution taken to ensure safety and no disruption of the time space continuum. Can you guess how long it took for things to go horribly wrong? Corey had one destination in mind when he had signed up for the expedition. Out of all the times in history to explore, he had chosen to go to… surprise, surprise… ancient Egypt. Land of the pharaohs. Why so many people are obsessed with that era I have no idea, but Corey was the latest to go back in time for a visit. And with two presses of a button, he and his guide were off. One quick and somewhat nauseating trip though time and worm holes later, and they emerged into the desert near the pyramids, still pristine and shiny in the hot afternoon sun. It only took a few seconds for their suits and the platform to sense and adjust their transparency accordingly, rendering them nearly invisible amongst the sand and heat. ‘Almost’ being the key word. For as luck, or maybe fate, I don’t know, would have it, the two land in the path of a chariot out for an afternoon drive. While they had faded into invisibility before being spotted, Corey had failed to hover far enough into the air to avoid a collision with the horses. And as you can guess, there’s a big collision. Horses tumble, rider gets knocked off the chariot and Corey and his guide get thrown into the sand, loosing their grips on the time travel controllers, which go flying into the sand. But with the sudden shock of being hit, the active camouflage in their suits quickly fizzle out, leaving both of them standing in the hot desert sealed in black rubber suits. Then, to make things even worse, ancient bodyguards come running over the ridge at that moment, spears, swords and shields raised. “Did we hit someone important?” Corey asks. “Apparently so.” His guide says, realizing that they’re in deep shit. Turns out she’s right. Corey and his guide try to flee, but it’s too late. Besides, running in black rubber in temperatures over 100 degrees is bound to tire out people fast. Doubly fast if they’re in black rubber. It’s only a few seconds before they’re tackled. Corey and his guide aren’t killed, but they are forced into the sand, where their hands are forced behind their backs and tied up in thick rope, the same happening to their ankles. “Hey, wait! I can explain!” Corey shouts in fear as his ankles are tied together. But of course, these guys don’t understand English. Only a few seconds pass before the high tech travelers from the future are bound and helpless. So much for high technology, eh? I mean, they’re tied up with ropes and are suddenly helpless! If anything, I think that set a new record for the shortest accident free trip in the history of the company. So what happens next you say? Well, the two are carried and put onto chariots and driven back to the royal palace, struggling all the way, but aware of one very important fact… their time travel controllers are gone, lost somewhere in the sand. They’re also aware of the fact that finding them again is very, very unlikely. You getting an idea on how this is going? Well, anyway, the convoy goes just slow enough so that they arrive at the capital at nightfall. (I’m not sure, but apparently the court officials didn’t want the public to see the two rubber aliens in their midst). It’s here that irony plays it’s hand, for while he’s a prisoner, Corey’s original goal in this trip is fulfilled. He gets to see the capital city of ancient Egypt up close and personal while being wheeled towards what is very likely going to be an unpleasant fate. His guide almost asks how he likes Egypt… but she holds off. After all, she’s in the same situation too, and doesn’t think that now is the time for sightseeing. Once reaching the palace, the two are unloaded off the chariots, forced onto the ground and untied, only to have steel shackles locked around their ankles and wrists. Even more so then the ropes, these make sure the two aren’t going anywhere in a hurry. And as if that wasn’t enough, heavy iron collars go around their necks. Both are panicking, but Corey seems to hold up better then his guide, who’s fighting and thrashing against her restraints. Even as the iron collar is locked tightly around his throat, he manages to stay on his feet, something his guide can’t manage. She was having a complete nervous breakdown. Apparently, the Egyptians didn’t know what to think of these two strange intruders, but they weren’t taking any chances whatsoever. The next few days are quite stressful for the two of them, but I’ll spare you the details. It’s just a lot of being chained up in the dungeons, being looked over by the officials and being given angry glares by pretty much everybody. At first neither Corey or his guide know why, but they do talk about it over the radio when they have a few moments alone. Most likely to do with the person they hit in the chariot, they eventually decide. It won’t be long before they find out that they’re right. During that time, Corey’s guide tries to get a connection back to the modern day to get help. But unfortunately, that attempt doesn’t work. Either the transmitter can’t get through the continuum, maybe the receivers aren’t working, or even more sinister, perhaps the corporation won’t answer, doesn’t want to get any evidence on it’s hands that it knew customers were in trouble and that it failed to rescue them. Plausible deniability perhaps, but who knows? With big corporations, anything can and does happen. Not a happy thought. Well, the next few days are a blur, with both being led around to various court officials, examined like cattle. Humiliating and degrading, but there’s not a whole lot Corey and the guide can do about it. They’re restrained at all times and trailed by guards with spears. Bored guards as well, seeing as how they seemed to be itching for a chance to use the two for target practice. One night the two are in the dungeons, talking with each other over the radios. “You doing okay?” Corey asks. “Not really.” “You afraid we’re going to die?” “Yes. But my skin is getting itchy in this suit.” She tries to rub her body against the concrete wall. “I need a shower.” Corey rubs against the wall as well, trying to get of the irritating itch on his back, and his buttocks as well. Though the travel suits are high tech and can allow their wearers to remain inside for days at a time, it’s not designed so that they can stay inside forever. And going to the bathroom? Well, let’s not talk about that. “You been able to get through back to our time?” Corey asks. “I’ve been trying, but no luck yet. But they should answer us eventually… I don’t know why they haven’t yet.” Silence at that. Though it’s not spoken, both are keenly aware that they’ve altered time and history. Hitting somebody is one thing, but no records have ever been found regarding strange black suited figures in ancient Egypt. Their simple presence here after being discovered has no doubt altered the fabric of history. Who knows what the consequences could be? At that, the doors open up and about twelve guards walk in, along with several priests, one of whom pulls out a scroll and starts to talk. “You have any idea what he’s saying?” Corey asks. “Not a clue.” His guide replies. That surprises him. “I thought you were a tour guide!” “Yeah, but I’m just to make sure that clients don’t screw around and mess things up! I’m not supposed to go back in time and get captured by ancient dead people!” Groaning in frustration, Corey listens closely to the priest’s babbling. One thing is clear. Whatever he’s talking about, it’s clearly not good. That would explain the angry look on his face and the angry tone in his voice. After the priest stops talking, the two are unlocked from the dungeon wall, dragged outside the palace and thrown into chariots, which then take off into the night. “Well, this can’t be good.” Corey says through the radio. His guide isn’t amused. “Oh shut up! Of course it’s not good! We’re probably going to be taken somewhere to be executed!” Oh, what tangled words are weaved in such irony! Anyway, to continue… They get driven out into the desert for about an hour, until the small convoy reaches a small mountain range, where the chariots drive into the clefts, heading deep into the mountains before arriving at a small, hidden doorway carved into the mountains, and quite recently judging by all the sculptors and buildings bustling around it like bees. As the two are unloaded from the chariots and dragged towards the door, both of them have that deep gut feeling that this can’t possibly be good. Not at all. They’re taken down the stairs and through the door, heading down a long tunnel until they reach a large and elaborate room being filled with all manner of treasures and riches beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, gold upon gold, gilded chairs and elaborate statues. It’s a room fit for a king… but with that large sarcophagus being built, it’s clear that this room is a tomb. “Wait a minute…” Corey says fearfully. “I know this place.” “You do? Have you come through here before?” His guide says sarcastically, trying to cover up her own insecurities. As it turns out, she recognizes this place too. They both recognize the ornaments, the gold, the sarcophagus, even the layout of the place. This is none other then the tomb of King Tut, the boy king. It doesn’t take long for the two to realize that that was the person they had hit upon arriving here in Egypt. And the only reason they’re building a tomb is because he died. Yeah… things are that bad. Tut’s tomb isn’t destined to be found in thousands of years. But during that time, it turns out that Tut won’t go to his grave alone, for there’s another room in the very back of the tomb, just recently carved out of the rock at great haste. This is a side grave, very small, just big enough for two coffins. You know all those stories of people being buried alive throughout history? You ever notice how frequently those stories seem to center around ancient Egypt? As it turns out, court officials seem to love doing this to those who displease them… and especially to those who kill their kings. It only takes Corey and his guide a few moments to realize what this is what their fate is going to be, especially when lots of guards come inside carrying boxes upon boxes of funeral bandages. And you can probably guess what happens next. They’re forced onto the ground, shackles unlocked, and guards grabbing their limbs and stretching them out. Panicked scream and shouting fill the air as Corey and his guide are mummified alive, wrapped head to toe in those funeral bandages, rubber suits and all (the guards try cutting them off, but when that fails they just wrap over them). There’s no ripping the brains out or removing the organs, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less painful… the guards make sure that the two are going to be real sore, taking care to wrap their legs and arms excruciatingly tightly, going so far as to force arms behind their backs in an armbar position and wrapping them there. Despite the hopelessness of their situation (there’s really no chance to escape with all the guards around), Corey and his guide still fight, fighting for everything their worth, knowing that if they get wrapped, it means death. It’s a defiant gesture, but ultimately helpless one, but then again, one’s instincts override reason in times of stress. For Corey, the process is especially horrifying. Here he was, a guy who had gone back in time to impress his friends, and now here he was, being mummified alive. The bandages come over and over again, sealing him inside his cocoon, each layer of wrappings making it harder and harder to struggle and fight. He can’t feel the bandages through the rubber bodysuit, but he feels the restriction, the binding, the force that slowly but surely immobilizes him, ensuring that each successive struggle gets weaker and weaker. It doesn’t help that while the two are being wrapped, two coffins are being made right next to them. Occasionally the coffin makers will come over and observe the bodies of the two captives, make a note or two, then go over and make the necessary corrections on the coffins. Can’t make them too big, after all. As if to further add to the horror, Corey and his guide can still talk with their radios. But there are no words this time, no sarcasm, no words of support. They just hear each other struggling, but Corey is especially scared to her his guide panicking utterly. She’s fighting and squirming to try and escape the bandages that are imprisoning her, so consumed by her own fear that she doesn’t even seem to notice anyone else, much less Corey. Despite the two fighting and struggling, the outcome of this execution is all but inevitable. After half an hour the layers of bandages are so thick that movement is now all but impossible. Both Corey and his guide’s faces have long since been covered over, sealing them in darkness, possibly forever. At that point, there is no way that Corey or his guide can get out on their own. And with each passing second, escape seems less and less of a reality and more of a desperate fantasy. Sealed inside his double cocoon of rubber and bandages, Corey can’t move, can’t hear anything but the sound of his own labored breathing, his frantically pounding heart, and his frantic gasps as he struggles not to completely loose his mind at the thought of being entombed alive forever in the Egyptian desert, never to escape. He can also hear the sound of his guide, now sobbing and weeping, rocking back and forth inside her wrappings as she’s picked up and carried over towards one of the coffins. Remember what I said earlier about her being claustrophobic? Well, that made her mummification almost unbearable, but being sealed into a coffin just pushes her over the edge into insanity. And then Corey feels himself being picked up too, carried to his own coffin, squirming helplessly. The touch of wood against his wrappings is bone chilling as he’s lowered inside. Inside the coffin, feeling the wooden surfaces surrounding him, Corey tries once more to fight his way free, but it’s a futile effort. He knows it’s useless, but at this point he can’t just lie back helplessly and surrender to fate. Even if he’s going to never escape, he can at least go out fighting. But amongst all the struggling, he can hear something outside of his cocoon… the sound of a wooden lid being lowered onto his coffin, and then the sound of nails being hammered into the wood hard and fast, locking his body inside this tiny prison from which there may never be any escape. The words drive themselves into his brain with each beat of the hammer… no escape… no release… Ever. When the nailing is complete, the two coffins, containing the two living mummies, are lifted and carried one after the other into the room and stacked on top of one another. And when that’s done, it’s on to the inevitable, final, and irreversible step. Within their tiny worlds, neither of the tomb’s occupants can see as the guards leave the room and extinguish the torches, nor can they see as bricks and mortar are carried over and began to be put in place, slowly walling up the room one by one, stone by stone, by single stone. But they can feel it. Through the ground they can feel as each massive brick is put into place and then sealed in place. And with that comes the horrible realization that this is really happening… that this is their tomb, where they will spend eternity, forever sealed within these boxes, ending their lives centuries before they were even born, forever King Tut’s prisoners, sealed inside this crypt. Perhaps in thousands of years, when King Tut’s tomb is discovered, this small grave off to the side will be discovered as well. They’ll break away that thick wall, find these two coffins inside and open them to discover bandage wrapped rubber bodies inside. Or they may never find them… for after all, Tut’s tomb had been found and excavated for years, and the small room had never been found. But even if it’s found then, it’s going to be too late. In fact, the two might not even be in there. Heck, the room may not even exist. If we’re lucky, the company will discover that something’s wrong and will come and rescue us. I certainly hope so… I know I’m loosing my mind… I might have even lost it already! I mean, we accidentally killed Tut and now we’ve been buried alive! So that’s my story… I’m sending this message out into time and space in the hopes that it lands on something… a computer maybe, so that somebody can find out what happened to us and then send help. I know this all sounds nuts, but you have to believe me, being buried alive can do a lot to your mind! I can hear Corey’s mummy sobbing in his coffin, no doubt from realizing that this is quite possibly where we end our journey and I don’t blame him. After all, he’s just another guy who wanted to impress his buddies… but if I ever get out of here, I swear I’m never going to be time travel tour guide again!
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