A Friendly Little Reminder
Part 1 We all have these smart little phones. The ones that have calendars and clocks and alarms and reminders. Most of them are wonderful and help with everyday thingy things and can be described as useful. It’s the reminders I truly loathe. Because I basically use them for one thing. To remind me that I fucked up. I mean we all fuck up, but I’m one of the worst about it. I have my rules. If I can’t get out of a tie, or get out too easily because I screwed something up, took a shortcut, had to safety, or just plain cocked the whole thing up (and probably had to safety) then, I must do a penance tie. Yeah, yeah, I know. I hear it all the time “BUT you LIKE it.” The catch with doing one of these ties is that I don’t. Or at least by the end I don’t like it. I have to make myself endure an over the top tie that is either too long, or too difficult, or too tight (as long as there’s no permanent damage), or no escape until I think I’ve endured enough to offset my fuck up and my penance is paid. On average I try to do a tie a week. I tally the times I think I screwed something up and at the end of the month I have a reminder (grumble grumble) set up that I need to do a penance tie. The reminder has the notes of how many times I’ve done “stupid shit” and the level of my debt that needs to be paid. This was going to be particularly ominous and probably somewhat brutal because my schedule didn’t permit me to do one last month. Well, that’s my excuse anyway. It’s not as simple as that. Timing was shit, but the planning didn’t happen because I just didn’t make myself do it. For every week I postponed it I added two hours to my ordeal. It was now at three weeks, or six hours, on top of whatever I decided I was going to do. I had to be very thorough and prepare completely for what was going to be a very long day and possibly night at this rate. For a tie this long I was going to need to come up with what would probably be a two or maybe even three step adventure. A gradual step down or maybe up. It’s too early to tell. Step one, as per usual was to make sure that I could count on Sirius to be there for a rescue. Especially since I wasn’t going to leave myself a way out. That’s right. I hate to safety so much that this time around, I don’t have one. Except for her of course. ...