PlastiClown on Gromet's Plaza Archive

Luthor Triumphant!

Mon, 03 Apr 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Each invitation came with a small package. The invitations were sent out in the morning by courier to mobsters throughout Metropolis and the surrounding areas. Each recipient was invited to attend a not-to-be-missed party the next evening. Since the invitation came from Lex Luthor, no one was inclined to miss the party, but the contents of the packages clinched the deal.

Each package contained a pair of boxer shorts and, if the mobster had a teenaged son who would be attending, an extra pair for him. The shorts were made of limp, skin-smooth, transparent-white plastic film and came with a note recommending that the recipient wear them under his trousers while he attended the party.

Rubber Robin

Mon, 03 Apr 2017 00:00:00 +0000

There was a new villain plaguing Gotham City, a prankster called Sissyboy. People assumed that he was a protegé of the Joker, because whenever one of his pranks distracted people, the Joker and his henchclowns took advantage of the confusion to pull off one of their capers. It seemed as if Sissyboy could work a strange kind of magic. On one occasion the poles holding streetlights turned to rubber and sagged into the street, blocking traffic. On another occasion the walls of the shower rooms at the Gotham City Country Club turned to the clearest of glass. And during the consequent disruptions the Joker and his crew, cleverly disguised as ordinary people, performed a little magic of their own by making money and jewelry disappear.

Sorority Slavedoll

Thu, 02 Mar 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Some people say that man is mastery and woman is mystery. That’s a clever play on words, certainly, but there is a very spooky truth to it. When the former goes wrong, the latter sets it right, sometimes in the most horrifying ways. There’s a reason why some women are called witches and a hapless young man discovered that reason.

Just off the campus of the University of New Wales at Pennstadt stands Sorority Row, a neat array of former mansions lining one of the main streets that run by the campus. Set a little apart from the others, separated from its nearest neighbor by a miniature park, was the Shi Imega Lambda house. It was to that house that Stefan Bonhuizo came with sinister intent.

Two Schauerkappe Weddings

Thu, 02 Mar 2017 00:00:00 +0000

In the story “Schauerkappe” the narrator described how, through a series of errors, he had become Marla Schauerkappe’s plastic prisoner, had been turned into an inflatable woman by Marla’s teenaged son Dale, and made pregnant with a raincoat, and then, after giving birth to the new raincoat and discovering that Marla and her husband Beaubeau had captured themselves a new pair of inflated plastic prisoners, was scheduled to be married to Dale. This is how the wedding went.

Revenge of the Punching Bags

Mon, 18 Jul 2016 00:00:00 +0000

No one would have believed that I would end up as the plastic prisoner of an inflated punching bag. More precisely I was the inflated plastic slavedoll of the Bobo the Clown character that had been printed on the punching bag that I had owned and used as a masturbating toy.

I had received an all-expenses-paid vacation on a semi-tropical island and, though caution would have dictated that I check out the organization offering the trip, I couldn’t resist going. So I packed my bag and went to the airport at the designated time. There were only about a dozen people on the flight and the flight seemed to go quickly, though we had a long way to go. From the island’s small airport we were taken to a plush hotel. There I was taken to a suite that consisted of a sitting room, a bedroom, and a bathroom.

Auction of an Inflated Slavedoll

Mon, 13 Jun 2016 00:00:00 +0000

I had gone to the beach with my girlfriend Sondra on a lovely, warm spring day and we were strolling barefoot along the shoreline when we were captured. We had gone under the wide pier that ran a hundred yards back from the waterline to the street and were enjoying the coolness in the shade. I heard someone behind me on my right say, “Don’t move.” I started to turn when I felt something touch my right cheek and cold fire flashed through me. The same voice said, “Don’t move” again and I stopped dead in my tracks. I could see Sondra and I saw a hand holding a weird luminescent rod touch her cheek and a young man’s voice say, “You will do only what is necessary to fulfill my commands.” Then the rod touched my cheek and the voice repeated the order.

The Kitten Sisters Blow Up Dick Tracy

Fri, 27 May 2016 00:00:00 +0000

How can someone become an inflated slavedoll for a plastic witch? What could compel a man to put on a girl’s plastic shower cap in order to become an inflated plastic punching bag bouncing gaily for his captors? Someone found out.

Inga Yelma was missing. That fact in itself would not have drawn Dick Tracy’s interest. But there were hints that something more sinister was at play.

The information had come from Joe Cullun, crime reporter for the City Press. He had been making the report to Officer Lizz Worthington, saying that Miss Yelma had contacted him, saying that she had a horrifying story for him. “She said that she was scheduled to compete in the Women’s Ski-Jumping Championship Meet at Indian Head,” he said, “and that she wanted to meet me the next day to give me the scoop. It sounded like she was about to tell me more, but then I heard her say ‘Oh!”, as if she had been startled, and she hung up. And she never showed up for the meeting."

Plastic Cinderella

Sun, 28 Dec 2014 00:00:00 +0000

This is based on the wrong version of the story originally titled Aschenputtel. Charles Perrault, a member of one the most morally bankrupt institutions in history, the court of Louis XIV, took one of the best fairy tales ever and transformed into an obscene celebration of the values (if one could call them that) of a gang of too-rich, self-indulgent putzes. (If you want to see more on this topic, read “The Uses of Enchantment” by Bruno Bettelheim.) Unfortunately, that’s the version that Disney made into a movie. Charles, dear boy, if you want to fuck up a fairy tale, here’s how to do it right.

Supergirl

Sun, 28 Dec 2014 00:00:00 +0000

Linda Danvers sat in her room in the Alpha Lambda sorority house and tried to figure out what had happened earlier in the day. Several times while she had been walking around on the campus of Stanhope College she had felt weak and sick, the symptoms of exposure to kryptonitic radiation. She hoped that nobody had noticed, but puzzled over the fact that she was unable to trace the source of the radiation. But someone had noticed.

Schauerkappe

Wed, 03 Dec 2014 00:00:00 +0000

I am supposed to be Marla Schauerkappe’s plastic prisoner. And even that’s a mistake. I had originally been captured for the pleasure of Marla’s husband Beaubeau.

It was a rainy day and I had to go out on some minor errand. I put on my raincoat and went on my way. That’s what got me in trouble. My raincoat is a woman’s raincoat made of soft, skin-smooth, semi-transparent light-blue plastic closed with thumbnail-sized patches of magnetized rubber, each surrounded by a quarter-inch aureole of welded plastic. To make matters worse, I needed a haircut: my hair puffed out the raincoat’s pixie-style hood. So it was kind of understandable that Beaubeau would mistake me for a woman.

Operation Rubberdoll

Fri, 14 Nov 2014 00:00:00 +0000

“Bond. Jane Bond,” the pretty young woman said when the attendant asked her name. She wore her flaming red hair in a thick shag style and wore a plain white dress, visible through the transparent-blue plastic of her raincoat. She had pulled apart the magnetic patches, blue thumbnail-discs of magnetized rubber, so that the raincoat hung open. Her sensuous lips and bright blue eyes were definitely a distraction to the people around her, as she intended.

Message in a Bottle

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +0000

The yacht “Parsifal” was churning through the waters of the Pacific Ocean when one of the passengers saw a glint of sunlight off glass among the swells. When the boat changed course and came close to the site, the crew and passengers saw that the glint had come from a large bottle floating in the water. Using a net on a pole, one of the crewmen retrieved the bottle and took it to the yacht’s captain. There was a rolled-up sheaf of paper inside the bottle, so the captain smashed the bottle, unrolled the papers, and read the message written on them:

The Worst Popeye Cartoon Ever

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Yeah, this modern version of the infamous Tijuana bible follows the pattern of almost every Popeye cartoon I’ve ever seen (many of which inspired sexual fantasies), except that this one ends very badly for the spinach-chugging sailor.

-o-0-o-

It was a lovely summer day in the town of Sweethaven, a perfect day to spend at the beach. So it was that Popeye, Bluto, and the ever-vivacious Miss Olive Oyl decided to make a day of it. It was Bluto who had issued the invitation and offered his car as the transportation. It was the suggestion that they would get some good exercise that brought Popeye on board the little expedition; that and the fact that Olive was coming.

The Sissy Prince and The Witch

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000

You’re traveling through another realm of experience, a realm not only of the senses but of thought; you’re on a journey into a fantastic world whose limits are those of imagination. There’s the signpost up ahead – your next stop, the Limbo Zone.

The party has ended and the hostess is bidding good night to her guests. She asks several friends about a curly-haired young man who had left earlier, but none knew him. As she locked up and went around the house turning out lights she sees the young man just as he breaks down the back door and storms into her kitchen with an enraged look warping his face. Angrily he comes toward her and then seems to freeze solid with splinters of wood and fragments of glass floating around him.

Well-Developed Doll

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 00:00:00 +0000

To say that Clarice Geldmeister was happy would be to understate the case considerably. She was in ecstasy. She swept grandly into her posh apartment on the topmost floor of the Geldmeister Building, allowing the ornately decorated security door to close itself behind her. She went to stand before the wide and very expensive one-way window that looked out over the city and gloated.

Yes, it had just been too easy to outmaneuver that family of dumb hicks. Over one square mile of pristine forest that had gone untouched for centuries was now hers. Oh, how the hicks had whined and, oh, how she loved kicking them when they were down. She always thought it was especially funny when her victims whined about their rights.