story continues from part two Part 3 I have to just calm down and prepare for my day at work. I won’t be able to concentrate and I am already developing a headache from the frustration and tears. I haven’t even left for work yet. I drag my body upstairs and get dressed. I feel wore out already. I go back to the kitchen and take the metal container and put it in a cup with warm water. It may be able to melt by the time I get home. ...
story continues from part one Part 2 I am in the cycle yet, once again. I have been on a binge for a month now and I don’t see an end happening soon. I do this from time to time. I go quietly upstairs and lock my door. I pull down the shades and open the bag that hides all my favorite and private toys, It contains, belts, ropes, ties, cords, elastic bands, leather straps, ribbons, cut strips of cloth, old seat belt straps, various other mechanisms for self locking . I have purchased a new item and want to try it out. I always find something new to add from time to time and want to push my boundaries. It’s part of the game I play, part of the excitement and part of the arousal that I enjoy. ...
It’s that time again where I need to hold myself in bondage. I do this ritual as I methodically close the door and lock it making sure no one can get in. I open the bag that I have hidden safely underneath my dresser and tucked under drawers. I have made it so undetectable. The dark mesh bag has a few rings to hang it on underneath, making so it won’t dangle and is hidden from the obvious looker who may bend down and want to see if they dropped something. It stretches the length of the dresser and is held in place by hooks that are secured into the woodwork. You can’t detect it unless you put your hand all the way up beyond the bottom molding, a perfect non suspecting place. ...
This is a true story of myself. I chose to write about it as a cathartic way to understand how I got to where I am now. For some it may be arousing, others appalling, to some you may understand. It’s my story and I have tried to include as much as I could. I chose not to include all the mental thoughts because in order to tell the story you need to see the whole picture. ...