Crushedwithdiapers

Reincarnation - The Life and Times of a Trash Bag You open your eyes following passing away. You see a mysterious ethereal creature reminiscent of a human standing before you. The being speaks to you in a low-pitched booming voice, “Human, you died just now, and this is the afterlife. Unlike what you believed, reincarnation is real. However, we are short on bodies to reincarnate you into, so this will be brief. Due to the lack of bodies on earth which are not currently occupied by souls, including animals, you will need to be reincarnated into a non-living item. At this time, we can only go by what’s available, so we bid you good luck on whatever item your soul inhabits. You will have a consciousness, albeit with limitations. Good luck and live a fruitful life.” ...

Oof! “What happened to my head?” I groan, while gradually getting my vision back. “I feel like someone hit me…” Starting to recover from the stars circling my head, I look up to see my girlfriend with a golf club. A nine-iron to be exact. “What’s the big idea…” I start to moan out before she screams back “Silence! How dare you bring another girl into our apartment! Into MY home!” The scowl across her brows shows she’s clearly pissed off. ...

Part 1 - Retirement: After about 25 years of being a medical industry executive, I decided retiring was in my interest, as the companies I founded and helped create new products for the world were pretty much autonomous, and I decided to focus on other hobbies. Following retirement, my wife (Lana) and I (Chris) decided to purchase some land in Minnesota, where I can kick back and relax. We had kids early, and so they are pretty much grown. ...